Thursday, March 29, 2012


I am feeling overwhelmingly compelled to write about a recent experience I’ve had. But I want it to be clear that I am writing about it for myself and not for the person who was involved, just in case they are lingering out there and think that they have gotten the best of me. I know who I am and I know what I am worth and what I am capable of. And FYI, I don’t shriek, I ROAR!

Yesterday I received a very insulting comment regarding the post I wrote about Italian men. I was not only personally insulted but I was also insulted for the many women I know who are in happy, healthy relationships with Italian men. I understand that I am writing a post which expresses my opinion to certain degree (although most is based on experience) and I am always open to the thoughts and opinions of others, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t allow comments on my posts and I wouldn’t care what you all think, but that’s not me. In fact there is nothing that I enjoy more than your comments! I didn’t post this particular one of course and I won’t share the specifics, but I will say that it was extremely disrespectful and entirely unnecessary. 

There was also a second part to the comment that criticized my writing skills with more insults there.  I do not consider myself to be a writer but this person INSITS that since I am expressing my thoughts through words then that makes me a writer – I disagree. Why do I have to label myself as a writer if I choose not to? It allows me more freedom to express myself however I choose without having to conform to the rules and regulations of editing and formal writing. If one chooses to draw a picture or make a painting does that automatically make them an artist? *I certainly hope not as I believe that that would completely discredit all of the professional, hard-working creative minds who dedicate their lives to their work.

Why am I not able to share with my readers my experiences in any language, slag, dialect or misused grammar that I choose? Why must I follow someone else’s strict, rigid rules? I would think that if any of you reading this didn’t like the way I write you wouldn’t be reading my blog. I respect that.

What is upsetting to me however is that there are those who find it necessary to use cruel words simply because they feel themselves to be superior or more intelligent. Or because they believe those things should be done a certain way and anyone who does not conform to those rules is by default, without discussion, ignorant. This to me is a very closed and limited way of living, which does not allow for many experiences outside of that belief system.

I made the mistake of contacting said person and explaining why I was not going to post their comment. I did this in what I feel was a professional, yet stern email letting them know that I did not appreciate their insulting comment and that it was not their place to correct my writing skills or grammatical errors and that if they did not like the way I write they were in no way obligated to read my blog. What I got back was not only more insults but also a refusal to address the statements I had made in my email, and mind you, the responses were each at least a page long audaciously attacking my writing skills with two full pages of English lessons. Needless to say I was dumbfounded.

The original comment was not made anonymously, in fact it linked directly back to their profile and own bolgs (this of course is how I got the email address) After reading the most recent post on their blog I found out that this person has gone though some very difficult times in the past year.  For this I am truly sorry. I wish nothing bad on anyone. Not even someone who treats others poorly.

I was surprised to read that this person talked about how these recent events have changed their life and caused them to reflect more deeply, yet at the same time they still felt it necessary to write insolent comments on my blog. This person also claims to be a Christian and spoke about the period of Lent and how it is the perfect time to be quiet and still.

I firmly believe that each and every person on this planet has the right to their own beliefs whether I happen to agree with them or not and all I ask in return is for that same respect. I am not a Christian, or a Catholic or a Muslim or a Jew or a Buddhist. I choose not to have a religion. What I choose is to treat other people not the way I want to be treated myself, but rather the way I want my mother and my father to be treated, or my sister, brother, niece, nephew, aunt, uncle or best friend to be treated. I believe in compassion and humility and it saddens me when I am met with such hostility and arrogance without basis, especially from those who claim themselves to be Christian, or anything else for that matter. 

I am open to listen and if any of my readers would like to comment on my writing style or subject matter, please do by all means. All I ask is for courtesy and respect.  There is always a nice way of expressing your opinion even if it’s a contradictory one. I do not expect everyone to agree with me or like what and how I write, my goodness that would make for a very boring world. But I do expect to be treated with respect.

I also believe very strongly that everything in the universe comes back to us and Karma is very real and alive. I spent most of the day yesterday in an email correspondence with a person who sucked me dry and made me feel terrible and who outright told me that it was gratifying to them that I was getting upset. Wow!

But I do not think of it as a lost day, I think of it as a lesson learned and I know there was a reason that it happened. I’m not terribly sure what the reason is just yet, but I have no doubt that I will; although, I did have the best run in my half-marathon training to date. As my very dear friend Johnetta says, ‘take it out on the pavement!’

I would think that after having the experience that this person did they would become a bit more humble and grateful, count their blessings and surround themselves with only positive energy rather than insulting people that don’t even know. 

However, if this means that I have helped them though their struggle by allowing them to release their anger and aggression on me, well I guess maybe something good did come out of it after all.  I am strong enough to be trampled on and come out in one piece, stronger than I was before.

**Happiness in life does not, nor ever has, revolved around grammar and rules. It's about sharing yourself with others and about surrounding yourself with love.

Peace, Pace, Shalom, As-Salāmu `Alaykum, Namaste

*This is an edit that was made on March 30th
**These beautiful words are from my dear friend Laura, who made this comment after I explained the story to her.


  1. Peace sweetest Sara!
    I'm sorry to read about this but happy to see you are strong to see the positive parts about it. I might as well also apologize to anyone that might feel offended by my terrible English correctness - and by doing so I let myself feel free to continue writing my comments. :)
    Just as you point out I see no possible point in putting so much effort into trying to make someone feel bad when the problem is so easily solved as to shut down the computer. I do though, like you, feel sorry for this person who obviously has bigger problems than grammatical. Let's hope that the person will find peace somehow.

    Well, I'm sure you already know but it can't be said too many times; you are great and intelligent and funny and I love to follow your blog!
    That's all I've got to say about that.

  2. Ahhhh!!! Helene, my ever faithful reader! What would I do without you and your comments? Thank you for your kind words:) I really, truly hope that one day we will be able to meet for real, either in Firenze or your Sweden!! And BTW you have absolutely nothing to apologize for, your English is stellar girl!! Thank you, as always for your comments! Pace bella!

  3. I really hope so too Sara! Or I strongly believe we will!!
    Thanks for being kind about my English! :) Baci!

  4. Sara, I have enjoyed reading your blog. You write from the heart and from your experiences. For an individual to tear down another person obviously means that person has too much time on their hands. Continue to write, with or without grammatical errors I will continue to read and follow your blog! Don't sweat the small stuff. Your doing a wonderful job ! :)

    1. Valorie! I'm not sure how your lovely comment managed to slip by me!My sincerest aplogizies for not posting and responding to it sooner. Consequently I did read it on a day when it really helps! Don't sweat the small stuff is something that I continually need to remind myself. Thank you for your kind words and your encouragement! They are very much appreciated! Thanks for taking the time to stop by and for reading my blog! A presto!


Thanks for your comment! I always look forward to hearing from my reader! It will just take a second and I will get your comment posted!

Don't be Shy! Share!